{"id":6119,"date":"2021-06-24T16:20:58","date_gmt":"2021-06-24T16:20:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.winona.edu\/wellness\/?p=6119"},"modified":"2022-06-02T19:35:59","modified_gmt":"2022-06-02T19:35:59","slug":"pride-your-guide-to-consensual-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.winona.edu\/wellness\/blog\/pride-your-guide-to-consensual-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"PRIDE: Your Guide to Consensual Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_video src=&#8221;https:\/\/blogs.winona.edu\/wellness\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2021\/06\/TeaConsent.mp4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;][\/et_pb_video][et_pb_blurb content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Intro Blurb&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8&amp;t=1s\"><em>Copyright \u00a92015 Emmeline May and Blue Seat Studios<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"TextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">The messages around safe\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">and consensual\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">sex are consistent regardless of how you\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">identify<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">\u00a0or your sexuality<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">. The concept is quite simple:\u00a0<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun MacChromeBold SCXW105835634 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2 SCXW105835634 BCX0\">yes<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">\u00a0means yes\u00a0<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">and\u00a0<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun MacChromeBold SCXW105835634 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">no means no<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">.\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">Asking for consent can feel awkward at first, but it helps to make sure that you are on the same page as your partner. You must ask for consent\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun AdvancedProofingIssueV2 SCXW105835634 BCX0\">each and\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun AdvancedProofingIssueV2 SCXW105835634 BCX0\">every<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">\u00a0time<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">\u2013even when you are changing s<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105835634 BCX0\">exual acts.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW105835634 BCX0\" data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Consent Blurb&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Safe Sex is Consensual Sex\u00a0<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Before\u00a0initiating\u00a0anything with your partner, you must ask for consent\u00a0each and every\u00a0time you hook-up.\u00a0Asking for consent can feel awkward at times, but\u00a0it\u2019s\u00a0important to make sure both parties are okay with moving forward. Remember to watch the body language and tone of how your partner\u00a0responds. Anything less than an enthusiastic yes \u2013 is a no.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Here are some phrases that you can use to ask for consent:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u201cCan I [fill in the blank] to you?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u201cWould you like it if I\u00a0did\u00a0[fill in the blank] to you?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u201cWould you like to [fill in the blank] to me?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Again, the answer to these questions should be yes. If your partner responds with \u201cmaybe\u201d or a shrug \u201csure\u201d then the\u00a0answer\u00a0is no\u2013no you do not have consent.\u00a0If your partner seems unsure, check in with them before continuing by using these phrases:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"2\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u201cI want to make sure you want to do this. Should I keep going?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"2\" data-aria-posinset=\"4\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u201cIt\u2019s okay if you\u2019re not into this. We can do something else. What do you think?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Remember, yes means consent and no means no. Never pressure anyone into sex or any sexual acts if they do not feel comfortable with it.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;Sexual Violence Resources &#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Resources Blurb&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual violence, we have resources available on and off campus to help\u00a0support\u00a0you.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;3_5,2_5&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;3_5&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;On-Campus Support &#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Jessica Blurb&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Jessica Schulz is Winona State\u2019s Confidential Advocate, directly supporting students who have been victims of sexual violence, dating or domestic violence, stalking, harassment, racism, or discrimination.\u00a0Shulz is an outspoken supporter of the LGBTQIA+ rights and the queer and trans communities.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Contact her here with any question:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Call 507.457.2956<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Text 507.470.0403<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Email jessica.schulz@winona.edu<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;Health &amp; Wellness Services&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;H&amp;WS Blurb&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"TextRun SCXW163969791 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW163969791 BCX0\">Health &amp; Wellness Services has a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) that will be able to help yo<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW163969791 BCX0\">u\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW163969791 BCX0\">in the event of<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW163969791 BCX0\">\u00a0sexual violence. To schedule an\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2 SCXW163969791 BCX0\">appointment<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW163969791 BCX0\">\u00a0call 507.457.<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW163969791 BCX0\">5160.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW163969791 BCX0\" data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;Counseling Services&#8221; admin_label=&#8221; CS Blurb&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"Hyperlink SCXW114435065 BCX0\" href=\"https:\/\/www.winona.edu\/counseling-services\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><span class=\"TextRun Underlined SCXW114435065 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"Hyperlink\">Counseling Services<\/span><\/span><\/a><span class=\"TextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\">\u00a0has counselors with crisis\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\">support\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\">hours available to help talk through any tr<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\">auma that you may be facing.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\">You are not\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2 SCXW114435065 BCX0\">alone<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\">\u00a0and you do not have to go through this alone.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW114435065 BCX0\">\u00a0Call 507.457.5330 to make an appointment.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW114435065 BCX0\" data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;2_5&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;][et_pb_cta title=&#8221;PCAR&#8221; button_url=&#8221;https:\/\/pcar.org\/about-sexual-violence\/lgbtq&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text=&#8221;Learn more&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;PCAR Call To Action&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Sexual violence can happen to anyone and by anyone. For people in LGBTQ communities, sexual violence may also be combined with acts of verbal and physical homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_cta][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.advocacywinona.org\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text=&#8221;Winona Advocacy Center&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Advocacy Center Button&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;][\/et_pb_button][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.semcac.org\/semcac-clinic\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text=&#8221;Semcac Clinic&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Semcac Button&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.8.1&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221;][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Copyright \u00a92015 Emmeline May and Blue Seat Studios The messages around safe\u00a0and consensual\u00a0sex are consistent regardless of how you\u00a0identify\u00a0or your sexuality. The concept is quite simple:\u00a0yes\u00a0means yes\u00a0and\u00a0no means no.\u00a0Asking for consent can feel awkward at first, but it helps to make sure that you are on the same page as your partner. 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