This blog post is a continuation of Traipsing Through Tinder and contains some explicit material that some may find triggering.
At the end of the experiment, we went through the messages each profile received and we noticed something incredibly eye opening. In more than one case, the same user sent each profile a message that was completely different than what they had sent the other profiles. Instead of being authentic and trying to get to know the person behind the profile, they catered their message to characteristics they assumed based on false stereotypes.
For example, the same user who messaged the goth profile the chat on the left, sent the mainstream profile the chat on the right three days later:
When we created the party girl profile, he sent her this:
Another profile sent messages to the goth profile, the mainstream profile and the party girl profile. The three messages had very different tones:
The Survey
Our group also decided to survey Winona State University students on their experiences with Tinder and had 82 responses. 80% of respondents had personally used Tinder before. When asked how their experience had been with the application, 23% reported it had been positive, 58% said it had been neutral, and 18% had a negative experience. Respondents gave several reasons for their experience ratings. Some enjoyed it for its entertainment value, some to find another person to hook up with while others had met their significant others on the app. There were also those who hadn’t had the best experience with the application but said their experience also hadn’t been awful.
The next question we asked participants was if they had ever received a message on Tinder that made them feel uncomfortable. 55% responded that they had received a message that made them uncomfortable, 41% reported that they had not received a message that made them uncomfortable and 3% reported that they were not sure. When asked how they responded to those messages, the most popular response was that they ignored the message and either unmatched or blocked the user that sent it to them. A small portion would tell their friends about it as well.
We also asked participants if their friends had received any messages that made them feel uncomfortable. 67% reported that their friends had received a message that made them uncomfortable, 8% said that their friends had not received a message like that, and 23% said that they were not sure. We asked them how their friends would respond to the messages and the responses were the same as before: ignore, block, unmatch and tell their friends about the messages they received.
Our Conclusions
Don’t get us wrong, we don’t want to scare you away from online dating. It can be great. What became clear to us in this experiment is that when you take away respect and consent, what you get isn’t so great. By putting people in boxes you not only deny them their humanity, you deny yourself the ability to get to know the person behind the profile. If we’re going to end sexual harassment online, it’s time we stop just blocking users who make us uncomfortable and start confronting them. First, inform them that what they did that made you feel uncomfortable or harassed. If that doesn’t work (and it might not), here are some creative ways to get your message across:
- Submit your screenshot to straightwhiteboystexting.tumblr.com
- Submit your screenshot to byefelipesubmissions@gmail.com to be on the Instagram account Bye Felipe
- Draw them in a vulnerable position like Instagrannypants
- Or take a note from this Facebook user, who messaged the mother of account users who sent her objectifying messages.
If all else fails, then you can block them. Protect yourself. Your safety matters more than their feelings.
–Samantha Atkins, Clare Arvidson and Mike McArdle
