Photo by: Kelsa Katzfey ’21
There will always be toxic people that may come into your life at some point whether they be a friend, roommate, boyfriend, etc. and learning how to deal with that is important when becoming more resilient. When someone is toxic in your life, that means they bring you down or let negativity into your life.
In this week’s one minute video called, Take Out The Garbage by psychologist Mick Lynch, he compares toxic people in life to a garbage bin explaining how they hold arrogance, anger, hatred, bitterness, etc. inside of them. He talks about how “garbage” can pile up in a person and if you aren’t careful, it can be “dumped” onto you.
It’s very difficult to be resilient and strong when you are constantly weighed down by other peoples “garbage.” This garbage can include general negative people in your life, a jealous or angry significant other, someone who makes you feel bad or a person in your life who just brings you down.
My personal experience with a toxic relationship was when I was dating an ex-boyfriend and at the time, I had a hard time realizing that my relationship was toxic and I wasn’t receiving happiness or fulfillment from this person. I eventually learned that I had to let go of this person because of the “garbage” he held onto and was dumping onto me.
Toxic relationships can be difficult to navigate because sometimes we don’t even realize that we are in one ourselves until it’s too late. Mick Lynch explains how to take a step back and figure out who in your life might be causing more harm than good.
Taking a step back and analyzing your relationships is a good place to start, but allowing yourself to leave a toxic person or situation is more important for further happiness in your life. From personal experience, taking action to remove myself from a toxic situation is the hardest, but most necessary step.
He says that if you don’t realize someone toxic is in your life, simply step out of their way or “take out their trash” so you don’t get it dumped directly on yourself. This could be someone “dumping” or reflecting their negativity, insecurities or jealousy onto you and making you feel bad.
So next time you find yourself in a toxic relationship, do as Mick Lynch says and take a step back and analyze the relationship and ask yourself; is it toxic? Do they make you unhappy? Are they putting their garbage on you?
Next week we will be discussing competing and comparing yourself to others. For more information about how to deal with tough life situations or for confidential help, visit the WSU Counseling Services website or call 507-457-5330 to make an appointment.
