In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Winona hosted Megan Rae, the director and author of the play “When….” Last Monday I attended Megan Rae’s production, which was held in the Somsen Hall auditorium.
“When…” is an interactive play written, produced and performed by WSU students about sexual and relationship violence. Overall, the play was a very realistic portrayal of some of the violence that happens in our society today. The performance was broken up into three scenes that were all scenarios based on true experiences.
The first scene portrayed an abusive marriage where the wife was constantly being verbally abused by her husband, and eventually physically abused. The wife was desperately searching for a true friend to just listen to her, but no one would. Instead, all of her so-called “friends” just gave their input on her marriage and told her that she had made a mistake or that she was fine, that she needed to get over herself. All of the reactions by her friends in this scene were examples of what not to do as a friend in this kind of situation.
After the scene was over, Megan Rae walked around the auditorium and asked people in the audience what they would do if they were one of the wife’s friends in this situation. From the audience’s feedback, we came to the conclusion that the best thing to do as a friend in this situation would be to listen to the wife, and ask her what she wants to do instead of just telling her what we think she should be doing. At the very least you could tell the wife, “The decision is up to you, but I can give you options.” This way she is not feeling blamed, and she doesn’t have to feel like she has to please everyone else.
According to the National Coalition of Domestic Violence, every nine seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten, and women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner. What we need to realize is that these facts are real even here in Winona. As much as we don’t want to think about these things, it is extremely important that we do so we are prepared to handle a situation like this in the best way possible.
The second scene consisted of a bar fight between two individuals. Meanwhile, the bystanders are gossiping about the fight and egging or cheering them on. I think it is safe to say that all of us have witnessed this type of situation at some point in our lives. But the question is, will you step in? This scene really focused on bystander intervention and how important it is to not only step into a situation in an attempt to help, but also determining when is the right time to step into a situation.
Megan Rae once again cut the scene when the fight was at its climax and asked the audience “What would you do?” The audience came up with many insightful ideas, but this time Megan asked them to come up on stage and act out their ideas to see if they would work or not. The improv was quite entertaining, especially when one of the ideas wasn’t successful. Megan explained the key to success in trying to break up a fight like this is to remember the three D’s: Direct, Distract, Delegate. Through trial and error we found that being a distraction was one of the most successful of the three.
Lastly, the third scene was at a college house party, but the focus of this scene was on sexual assault. The plot consisted of a guy putting a drug in a girls drink as an attempt to convince her to go upstairs and “take a nap” with him. All of the girl’s friends that were at the party witnessed what was happening, yet didn’t step in and stop the guy from leading her upstairs. This is another situation that is commonly seen on college campuses, even here in Winona. This is real!
Again, this scene really emphasized bystander intervention. When the scene ended, Megan asked the audience, “What would you do?” A few people from the audience went on stage once again and demonstrated how they could step in as a bystander and attempt to stop the horrible situation that was about to unfold.
Alcohol is the #1 drug used to facilitate sexual assault. Therefore, the best way to avoid this from happening to you is being aware of what other people are putting into your drinks, or just not putting yourself in the situation to be vulnerable in the first place. Be smart about what you are doing when you go out with your friends. Decide who you want to be before you are in the situation.
Overall, this play was one that really made me think. It made me think about what I would do if I were to encounter any or all three of these scenes, and if my ideas would actually be successful. The truth that I took away from this play is that these situations are REAL. It is one thing to know that this is real, one thing to agree that what was going on in these scenes was and is wrong, and one thing to TRY! There is no perfect solution to any of these situations, but the worst thing you can do as a bystander is to not try.
There are many ways that you can take action and help people who have become victims of sexual and relationship violence. To find out how to get involved here on campus, check out WSU’s RE Initiative, a program that “supports survivors of gender-based violence and works to create a culture of respect and responsibility.”
